Yes, indeed. Grandmas are something special. My paternal grandmother turned 80 in November of 2008 and my maternal grandmother turned 80 in June of 2009. Both grandmas have homes in the same small town and I was lucky enough to make it back to Minnesota to celebrate with them on each occasion. This is a photo of my sister and me with (from left to right) our paternal and maternal grandmothers, as taken during my November visit. With the exception of only a very few family members, our entire clan returned home for each respective gathering and enjoyed a weekend filled with love and laughter. Both grandmothers have lived long, full lives and each raised five children with their beloved husband. Unfortunately, my paternal grandfather passed away when I was very, very young and maternal grandfather passed away five years ago this past February. All four were close to their children and grandchildren and all four were and are very much a part of our lives.
Until just recently, both sets of grandmas had been doing really well. However, shortly after her return home from our wedding in October, my maternal grandmother became very ill. She actually fell the weekend before the wedding, landing square on her rear and hurting her back, but she went to both the doctor and chiropractor and felt well enough to come to the wedding. She, of course, came to New Mexico for the wedding and, albeit a little sore and, at times, uncomfortable, she seemed to really enjoyed herself. Upon her return to Minnesota, however, she started having circulation problems in her legs, followed by blood clots and swelling. She went to the doctor a number of times and tried several different things to improve her circulation, but it just wasn't getting better. Four months (and several hospital visits later), the doctors, in a last ditch effort to try and pinpoint the problem, decided to take a CT scan and that’s when they discovered that Grandma had extreme, stage four, liver cancer.
With the exception of her October fall, Grandma was never in any sort of discomfort or pain and her body had shown absolutely no signs of the disease. That said, the doctors believe she’s probably had the cancer for years. Unfortunately, since the disease had gone undetected for all that time, it metastasized and completely spread throughout her tiny little body. The cancer was everywhere and there wasn’t anything we could do about it. No longer able to get around on her own in her large country home (due to the weakness and swelling in her legs), Grandma moved into a nursing home and I immediately made arrangements to visit. Grandma was diagnosed with liver cancer on Monday, March 1st and died Tuesday, March 23rd. I am so very fortunate to have been able to spend time with her earlier this month and, of course, to have had her here to celebrate our wedding in October.
When I saw Grandma the week of March 8th, she was still settling into her new home, but she was very alert and as feisty as ever. Grandma received many cards and letters and enjoyed the company of several visitors during her short stay. The nursing home was super cute, complete with gorgeous murals and hallways lined with white picket fences and porch lights. During my visit, we laughed and giggled and talked about lots of things, like about her middle name and its origin and her fury four-legged friend, Angel. We also looked at photos, including a few from the wedding, and held each other’s hand in silent support of one another. We also enjoyed a nice lunch together (as well as a supper or two) at the care center’s indoor park and attended a Catholic service there on the property with some of the other residents. For the most part, Grandma seemed content at the nursing home. In her mind, this was just her temporary home and she was going to get better and walk out of there very, very soon.
On my final day with Grandma, I tried to be strong. I did really well up until it was time to say goodbye and then, despite my best efforts, the tears fell anyway. As I began to apologize and explain that I had hoped I could say goodbye without crying, Grandma wiped a tear drop from my cheek and gave me a little smile. I hugged her and told her that I loved her. “I love you, too,” she whispered, and we said goodbye with a soft little kiss.
Grandma had a happy and satisfying life and, up until just a few weeks ago, was active and lived as she wanted. She was very close to, and involved in, all our lives and she will be sorely missed. We love you Grandma.
