History in the Making - Wedding Day 2009!

At long last, here are a few photos from our big day! Yes, indeed! As many of you already know, Dan and I exchanged vows during an outdoor ceremony celebrated at the Hacienda Doña Andrea de Santa Fe in Cerrillos, NM on October 24, 2009. The wedding began shortly before sunset and was attended by a small number of family and friends. To help paint a picture of the day, attached below is an excerpt of the announcement that was submitted to my hometown newspaper. The announcement is written in a style reminiscent of what was published when my mother and father were married 37 years ago, complete with descriptions of the cake, wedding favors, and attire worn by the wedding party. Here's the announcement:

“With the majestic Sangre de Cristo Mountains and bright blue New Mexico sky as their backdrop, the Albuquerque couple kept their autumn wedding decor simple and nature-inspired. The centerpieces were floral topiaries made of pomander sunflower bouquets, nicely complemented by ornamental dried grass arrangements and delicate groupings of fall leaves, acorns, and cinnamon scented pine cones. The couple also made their own wedding favors, including luminarias decorated by hand with autumn’s cheeriest wildflowers and goodie bags filled with homemade bread, apple cider, pumpkin seeds, and chocolate.

The cake, a gorgeous five-tier Rice Krispies cereal creation, was decorated in the colors of the season with delightful orange and red berries, shimmering green textile ribbon, and alternating layers of dark chocolate frosting. The bride and groom also welcomed their guests to the private, mountaintop hacienda with a candy buffet of autumn-flavored candies, as well as caramel apples.

As family and friends celebrated the union of the special couple, they sipped traditional red wine sangria and flavored margarita cocktails from glasses engraved with the names and wedding date of the just married, and dined upon a southwestern feast of enchiladas, empanadas, and tamales, as well as green chile stew, calabacitas, and smoked corn and black bean rice salad. After dinner, the wedded pair made their way to the dance floor where they shared their first dance, a wonderfully choreographed Foxtrot. The song the couple selected for this momentous occasion was Etta James’ signature song “At Last,” covered by Céline Dion. With the light of farolitos illuminating the hacienda’s thick adobe walls and a crackling piñon fire to warm the cool evening, the candlelit reception continued late into the night and concluded with a stunning encore of the choreographed dance by the exuberant newlyweds.

The groom wore a classic, black tuxedo with champagne-colored vest and tie. The bride, given in marriage by her parents, wore an elegant, A-line gown with a strapless, ruched bodice and attached chapel length train. The gown was fashioned from ivory chiffon and adorned with light auburn beading and fawn-colored floral embroidery as embellishment. The bride also wore a fingertip length veil and carried a lush bouquet of ivory mums and daisies, accented with greenery, red and purple viburnum berries, yellow solidasters, and lotus pods. The groom wore a boutonnière of berries and ivory-colored wildflowers.

The bridesmaids wore sleeveless, knee-length satin dresses in a rich fern green color. Each attendant wore a champagne grosgrain ribbon sash at the empire-waist and carried a bouquet of sunflowers, accented with purple thistle, ivory lilac clusters, and sprigs of dried green oats. The bridesmaids also wore green Swarovski pearl earrings and matching bracelets, a gift made by the bride. The groomsmen wore black tuxedos with fern-colored vests, ties, and pocket silks, as well as boutonnières of berries and fall-colored wildflowers.

The bride’s mother wore a champagne and latte-colored gown with a beaded, three-quarter sleeve lace jacket and flowing chiffon skirt. The groom’s mother wore a mock two-piece dress with a three-quarter sleeve bolero jacket, done in champagne chiffon and lace. The proud fathers wore black tuxedos with fern-colored vests, ties, and pocket silks.

The newlyweds honeymooned in Florida at Walt Disney World and will reside in Albuquerque. The bride will retain her maiden name.”

Houston, We Have a Problem!

Hello, Everyone! I’m sorry to disappoint, but we still do not have any professional wedding photos to share with you (tho, I promise we’ll have some for you real soon)! I do, however, have a funny honeymoon story to write about this month! To be truthful, our honeymoon got off to a bit of a rough start, but, in the end, it was one of our very best vacations ever! Thank you, Boyfriend, for including Bandit in your proposal, for choosing Scout as your honeymoon messenger, and for being so very thoughtful. Thank you, also, for planning such a wonderful trip and for making our first vacation as bride and groom so memorable!

Here’s our honeymoon story:

For months upon months, Dan kept telling me that we were not, and I mean absolutely NOT, going to honeymoon because we couldn't afford both a wedding and a honeymoon. That said (and me being me), I continued to lobby for a honeymoon. Truthfully, Dan was right, we really couldn’t afford both a wedding and a honeymoon, but again, me being me, I was secretly hoping that I could convince him to take a quick trip to South Padre Island, San Antonio, or Las Vegas sometime after the first of the year. Dan, however, had something else in mind. The Wednesday before the wedding, Dan, with the help of Scout who met me at the door wearing a very cute Tigger (from Winnie the Pooh) t-shirt, surprised me with airline tickets for a week-long vacation in Florida! Walt Disney World, here we come!

We pack our bags late Sunday night and head to the airport early Monday morning. We are completely exhausted from the long wedding weekend, but, despite our lack of sleep, all seems to be going well. There are no delays and our plane leaves at 7:30 a.m., as scheduled. It’s a beautiful morning, but the day has a few surprises in store for us.

Upon our approach to Houston, we hit some heavy turbulence. Great! I don’t like to fly and I especially don’t like turbulence, but there’s a thunderstorm in Houston. Wonderful! The pilot then comes on the intercom and reports that there’s zero visibility on the ground and that the air traffic controllers have been asked them to circle the airport. Fantastic! We begin to circle, bumping and bouncing about, and I begin to feel sick from the turbulence. Several minutes later, the pilot comes back on the intercom and announces that they’ve closed the Houston airport. This isn’t good. The air traffic controllers want us to continue to circle (please God, no), but we are now low of fuel and need to land in Corpus Christi to refuel. Yippie! Solid ground!

We land in Corpus Christi, refuel, and then spend the next two hours sitting on the tarmac. Joy! Once they re-open the airport, we then spend at least another half hour waiting to get back into rotation. By the time we reach Houston, we’ve missed our connecting flight to Orlando and have two choices: (a) we can either fly to St. Louis, to Chicago, and then onto Orlando or (b) we can spend the next 8 hours in the airport and catch the next direct flight into Orlando, landing at 2 a.m. local time. At this point, I am not going to spend any more time in the air than absolutely necessary and I am NOT flying to Chicago!

We wait the storm out in Houston and, twelve hours later than expected, we finally arrive in Orlando, but our bags are nowhere to be found. You have got to be kidding! Even better, the airline has no idea where they are and cannot tell us what plane they were put on in Houston! Dan is now sweating bullets, waiting for me to completely lose it, but I remain calm and start thinking to myself, “Whoo-hoo! New wardrobe!” I’m deliriously happy, despite the sleep deprivation. Dan then calls the resort and, much to my dismay, our bags took the St. Louis, to Chicago, to Orlando route and beat us to the airport! That said, the hotel has already picked up our bags and delivered them to our room. Darn it, anyway! I was really hoping for a new wardrobe!

We head to the resort and check in, but the excitement continues. Walking through the courtyard on the way to our room, I see a snake and scream out, “Boyfriend, don’t take another step! There’s a snake on the sidewalk”. Is it poisonous? I don’t know, but Dan pulls out his camera and starts taking photos of the scaly beast. So, here we are, two in the morning on the first night of our honeymoon, taking photos of a snake in the courtyard of our resort. This can only happen to us! We walk a little further and come across an albino frog. Dan pulls out his camera and again snaps a few photos... A few minutes later, we finally make it to our room and open the door. Two double beds! I begin to laugh and say, “Hmm, I guess I was expecting a king size bed or at least a queen for our honeymoon.” Dan is not pleased and says, “I was, too. I’ll call them in the morning.” Hey, I’ve got an idea! “You be Ricky and sleep over there and I’ll be Lucy and sleep over here!” Dan does not see the humor. We curl up together on our double bed and crash out.

Tomorrow can only be better, right? Absolutely!

Happy Anniversary!

I know it's only been a week (one week to the day to be exact), but Dan and I just returned home from our non-honeymoon, honeymoon and I needed a clever title for this month's blog post!

What's a non-honeymoon, honeymoon you ask? Well, it's the kind of honeymoon that comes out of nowhere and catches you off guard the week before the wedding! Yep, the week before the wedding! I'll be sure and write more about it here a little later (and post a few photos when we get them off the camera), but, let me just say, Dan has gotten really, REALLY good at this whole surprise thing!

For months upon months, Dan kept telling me that we were not, and I mean absolutely NOT, going to honeymoon because we couldn't afford both a wedding and a honeymoon. I, of course, continued to lobby for a honeymoon, but, to be completely honest, I really wasn't expecting Dan to change his mind or budge on this whole honeymoon thing. If anything, I was secretly hoping that I could convince him to take a quick trip to South Padre Island, San Antonio, or Las Vegas sometime after the first of the year, but Walt Disney World in Florida the Monday after the wedding was a total and complete surprise! More details and photos to follow!

Whoo-hoo! 24 More Days to Go!

Well, here we are!

A little less than one month away and, with the exception of my wedding gown (long story), everything seems to be coming along really well and I’m becoming very excited for the big day!

Let the countdown begin!

September has been a busy month, complete with late night, marathon printing sessions and two back-to-back bridal showers! Yep, two! One was given by my bridesmaids on the 12th and the other was a surprise shower given by my co-worker friends on the 18th! Both events were absolutely wonderful and all I can say is that I am really and truly blessed to have such a spectacular circle of family and friends!

The photo above (of Carrie, me, Amy, and Shelly) was taken at the shower on September 12th. More shower photos (including those taken on September 18th) will be available soon.

Shortly after announcing our engagement, my friend Carrie approached me about hosting a shower and, after quite a bit of thought, we decided on a lawn and garden theme. Dan and I have been together for almost seven years now and really we don’t need much by way of dishes, linens, etc., so it was very difficult for me to come up with gift giving ideas for Carrie. Dan and I, however, have been wanting to spend more time in the yard with the dogs and find that we need things like yard tools, lawn chairs, etc., so the backyard has quickly become our main focus and, because of that, we tailored our registry to include a wide range of items geared toward outdoor entertaining and relaxation.

That said, let me tell you a little bit about each shower! First, my Carrie manages a variety of different apartment complex properties and she selected the most amazing location for the September 12th shower! It was held at the clubhouse of one of her sister properties and it was an absolutely gorgeous room! It was so open and airy and the fireplace and comfy leather couches and chairs were very welcoming! The girls served a “picnic-style” lunch, complete with turkey, ham, and chicken salad finger sandwiches, a variety of chips, fresh sliced watermelon, and both potato and pasta salad, as well as cherry and apple pie for dessert! Yum! We even used a few wedding decorations to accentuate certain areas within the space and, at Carrie’s request, placed several framed photos of Dan and I around the room! The photos were an absolutely fantastic idea and I was more than happy to get dual use out of the wedding decorations!

We also played a fun game of 20 questions and I, for the most part, failed miserably! Dan answered a series of questions in advance of the shower and each guest was then given one of those questions to read to me out loud. Each question involved something about Dan, e.g. his likes, dislikes, favorites, etc., and I had to guess how he, himself, answered each question. It doesn’t sound too overly exciting as I write about it here, but the game was an absolute blast and the room was just filled with laughter the entire time we played! We also played the game in reverse in “How well do you know the Bride?” and my favorite question asked of Dan about me was: “What was the name of the very first boy the bride ever kissed?” and Dan’s answer was, “Wasn’t me.” Isn’t that hilarious!?! Another fun question asked of me about Dan was: “What was the date of your first kiss and who kissed who first?” Dan’s answer was, “May have been our first date, it was in her living room, and she will say I kissed her, but she kissed me.” The first part of Dan’s answer is correct, but he, indeed, kissed me and not the other way around! Ha! Needless to say, I got about half of the questions right and ditto for Dan!

The shower given by my co-worker friends on the 18th was a total and complete surprise and I am still in awe over how sneaky they all were to pull it off without me knowing! They even had craft day at work to make sunflower votive candle favors and I had absolutely no idea! The boardroom table was absolutely stunning, mindfully set for fall with pumpkins, autumn colored leaves, and sunflowers, and, as always, the food was magnificent and plentiful, complete with all my favorite foods and not one, but TWO, angel food cakes and one yummy chocolate chip cookie and berry creation!

Thank you again, everyone, for giving me the lasting memory of your love and support. Your kindness and generosity will never be forgotten!

Darby & Lauren's Camping Adventure

Whoa! The month of August has sure been a busy one and I’m fairly certain that if I had taken the time to blink that I may very well have missed it!

The “Big Day” is fast approaching and there has been nothing but a pile of wedding-related tasks on our plate for the past several weeks. We eat, sleep, and breathe wedding. Thankfully, the vendors have all been booked, the dresses and tuxes have all been ordered, and the final menu has been selected! Yay! Three things down and hundreds more to go!

Earlier this month, we did, however, sneak away for some quite time in the mountains. Dan’s cousin Sherryl was in town from Texas with her husband, Glenn, and 2-year old daughter during the week of August 17th and we all headed up to the Santa Fe National Forest for a quick, mid-week camping trip. We camped in our normal spot east of Cuba, NM and were joined by Dan’s parents and their cute little dog, Hannah. The weather was absolutely perfect! Just the right temperature for capri pants and t-shirts and absolutely no bugs!

This was Darby’s first “big-boy” camping trip and he did really well off-leash. His sister Daisy, however, still needs a bit of training in the recall department, but, other than that, everyone did okay! The puppies played and played, chasing each other like maniacs in the open meadow and wrestling in the tall grass. Scout joined them for several games of “get the puppy (i.e. Darby),” but, for the most part, he stayed close to Mom, much like Bandit used to do. It made me a little sad to see Scout resting at my feet by himself, but it was also very comforting to look down and see him there, as well. Scout just turned 11 in July and he is still very active, but I’m glad he decided to take it easy and hang out with me. I don’t know how many more camping trips we’ll have together, but we needed this time together and it was nice.

Darby also gained a new nickname on our trip. That little black and white ball of energy already has several different nicknames, but his newest nickname is “Garby.” Why Garby? Well, Lauren, Sherryl and Glenn’s little girl, couldn’t quite say Darby, so “Garby” it was: "No, Garby. Stop eating my snack, Garby. Down, Garby. Go see your Mom, Garby. Garby, Garby, Garby." It’s just one of those cute things a person never forgets and, thanks to sweet little 2-year old girl, Darby will forever be known as Garby.

This was also Lauren’s first time around dogs (and Daisy and Darby’s first time around little people), so, once they all got settled in and comfortable, it was fun watching them interact with one another. At some point, Lauren even decided it would be okay for her to walk the puppies on the leash and Darby and Scout both obliged. Dan snapped the two photos of Lauren below, just before we returned from our walk around camp.

We very much enjoyed our time with Sherryl and Glenn, and Lauren really seemed to enjoy her first big outdoor adventure and tent house. Thank you, Sherryl and Glenn, for inviting us to join you and for being so much fun! It was nice to finally sit down and visit with each of you and, of course, get away from all the wedding craziness, even if only for a couple of days! This is probably the only camping trip we’ll take this year and I’m glad we were able to share it with you. Sam and Paula, thanks for doing all the grocery shopping and for making this trip so easy on us. The meals were both plentiful and delicious!

The “Tail” of Two Proposals

For those of you who have read my blog post for the month of June, you already know that Dan surprised me with an absolutely stunning proposal on June 20, 2009. What you may not know, however, is that the June 20th proposal was actually the second of two amazingly beautiful proposals. Yes, two! That said, be sure and have a tissue in hand when you read the rest of this entry because the story of the first proposal is just as remarkable and touching as the second. The photo to the right is the “special” photo mentioned in the second to last paragraph of my June blog. It was taken by Dan on one of the last few days that Bandit was able to walk on his own.

Our Little Ring Bearer

For those of you that have known me the longest, you know that I’ve always wanted my furry, four-legged friends to be a part of my wedding, as both ring bearers and flower girl. Needless to say, when Bandit was diagnosed in January of 2009 with an inoperable tumor on his spine, my dreams were shattered. What I didn’t know, however, was that Dan was completely on board with the idea and that he wasn’t about to let Bandit’s diagnosis stand in the way of my dreams or happiness.

Late one February evening, I came home to a very wobbly (yet very happy) Bandit who greeted me at the door with a pretty blue bow tied to his harness. My birthday was two days away and, since there had been talk about Dan having to be out of town on my birthday for work, my immediate thought was that Dan would be leaving the next day for Phoenix and that he had decided to give me my birthday present a couple of days early. As I sat on the floor trying to calm Bandit and the rest of the excited bunch, I inquired about why there was a gift tied around Bandit’s harness. It had been an exceptionally hard week and I was not pleased that Dan would, again, be out of town on my birthday.

As the hounds began to relax, I reached for the bow on Bandit’s harness, half expecting the heart pendant that Dan had talked about the previous year. We had had a long, trying night with Bandit the night before and I was thoroughly exhausted and not thinking too overly clear that entire day. So, that said, you can only imagine my surprise when I untied the pretty blue bow and discovered a beautiful diamond engagement ring! OMG! A proposal was absolutely the furthest thing from my mind and, to be completely honest, I hadn't even given it a thought since Thanksgiving when Bandit became ill.

As I sat there in disbelief, my eyes quickly began to well up with tears and then I heard the words, “This isn’t how I had planned to propose, but I wanted him to be the ring bearer at least once.” Together, we both begin to sob, and I immediately realized the thoughtfulness of what Dan had just done. Dan had just fulfilled one of my wedding day wishes and I was overwhelmed with both happiness and sadness all at the same time. We decided right then and there, on the floor in the middle of our living room, to privately cherish this moment until we felt were strong enough to share it with others. This precious, bittersweet moment will forever be a part of our lives and, now that several months have passed and Dan and I have been able to digest the most recent happenings in our life, we felt it was time to share this touching and secretly treasured story with each of you. We hope it fills your heart with as much love and happiness as it does for the both us!

Hmmm.... What to Blog about this Month?

They say a photo is worth a thousand words, but here is the story behind this photo:

I got a phone call from my friend Shelly in Farmington last Friday night asking if I knew of a scrapbook store called Memory Lane. She said they were having some sort of awesome sale and wondered if I would be willing to swing by the store and pick something up for her co-worker, Lindsey. She told me what it was that Lindsey wanted and that Lindsey had already called the store to make sure they had one on hand.

I told Shelly that I'd gladly pick up Lindsey's stamp set, but that I didn't think I'd be able to get over to the store until Sunday afternoon and asked her to have Lindsey pay for the stamp set over the phone and have the owner hold it behind the counter. I explained that Saturday was going to be a busy day, that the store was way up in the heights, and that we'd be on that side of town on Sunday for Father's Day to visit Dan's parents. She said she thought that would be okay and that she would call Lindsey in the morning.

A few minutes later, Dan comes out to the kitchen and asks "So, what did your friend Shelly have to say?" I told him that we needed to swing by Memory Lane on Sunday to pick something up for Lindsey. Dan said okay and proceeded to ask about Father's Day: "What do you want to do about Father's Day? Do you want to do Father's Day stuff with my Dad tomorrow and then Father's Day stuff with your Dad on Sunday?" "Sure! That would be great. We can pick up Lindsey's stuff tomorrow then!" Problem solved.

Saturday arrives and we take Darby to his 9 a.m. Family Dog class. After class, we come home and I make us an yummy little breakfast, complete with turkey bacon, eggs, and salsa! I never cook, but I did that morning and it was delicious! By this time, it's about 11 o'clock. I then decide to plan the tomatoes that have been sitting in the sink for the past couple of weeks. I needed to get them planted planted and out of the sink before my trip to Minnesota. Dan reluctantly helps me plant the tomatoes and then says, "Okay, it's time for you to get in the shower so we can get over to see my parents." It's now noon. I get into the shower thinking to myself, "What's the big hurry? We have all afternoon." I take a nice long shower and finish up around 12:30. I dilly dally around trying to find something to wear and we head out the door around 1 p.m. My hair is still wet, but that's okay. I figure I'll just quick curl it when we get home before we head over to the zoo for my office's annual party.

When we get to Memory Lane, Dan asks if I'm going to take all day and reminds me that we need to get over to his parents' house. I tell him I'll just run in and get Lindsey's stuff and be out in a flash. He says "Yeah, right," and starts to tease me about my shopping habits which then prompts me to quip, "Just for that, I'm gong to look around and see what all there is to see and, if I find something I want, then you'll just have to buy it for me because I didn't bring my purse!"

With that, into the store we went. I immediately found Becky and said, "Hi, I'm here to pick up something for Lindsey. She lives in Farmington and prepaid for a stamp set over the phone." Becky replies, "Oh, you'll need to talk to Robin, the store owner. She's right over there." I walk up to the counter and repeat the statement to which Robin replies, "I've got the stamp set right here (picking up something from behind the counter), but I'm going to need to look into whether or not she pre-paid. Would you like to look around the store while I do that?" "Sure, no problem." I begin to look around. Dan then asks to use the restroom. He stands at the counter for a minute, waiting for them to direct him to the bathroom. When he emerges from the bathroom, we start looking around the store together. He points out some paper and I say, "Oh, I've got some of that paper. I plan to use it when I scrapbook our high school days." "And when are you going to do that?" Dan asks. "Someday," I reply. "Yeah right, and when are you going to finish an actual album?" "Hey, you just leave me alone. I've finished albums, just never one for myself!" We emerge from the paper room and start looking at rubber stamps. Robin then comes over and says she has an album she thinks I should see, handing me a pretty little album about 1 inch thick. I've looked at albums in the store before, getting inspiration from the work of others, and didn't even give it a second thought when she handed the album to me. "Sure," I say, "Let's have a look."

When I opened the book, the first page read, "Dan & Erin." "What?" I turned to the second page and there was a photo of me from high school, as well as one of Dan. "We met in 1991 at Eldorado High School." It took me until about the third page to realize that I was looking at a scrapbook that Dan had made, chronicling the six years we had spent together as a couple. I was immediately overcome with emotion and tears began to well up in my eyes. The hustle and bustle of the store just seemed to disappear. I know there were several customers watching and waiting, but, from that moment forward, it was if they weren't even there. It was just me, Dan, and his beautiful album and the tears began to fall. I carefully turned and read each page until I reached the end of the book and there, on the very last page, I found a ring, a very special message and photo, and the words, "Will you marry me?" By then, Dan was down on one knee and repeating the question. With tears streaming down my face, the answer was a resounding, "Yes!"

The photo above captured the very moment Dan put the ring on my finger. It was taken by Becky, one of the ladies who works in the scrapbook store. She was supposed to be off that day, but, after hearing about Dan's in-store proposal plan, she found a reason to be there (and even skipped her lunch date with a friend when we didn't arrive at noon as anticipated)! Dan added the star burst or "chispa" in photoshop, but there wasn't anything he could do to fix my wet hair! Thank God I had enough time to put make-up on before leaving the house!

A Change of Scenery

This Memorial Day we did something a little different. Instead of camping at our regular spot near the town of Cuba in the Sierra Nacimiento Mountain Range (Santa Fe National Forest), we decided to pack up and go to Navajo Lake with our Farmington friends, Vernon and Shelly. We got rained on all day Saturday, but, other than that, we enjoyed the weekend!

For the past two summers, Vernon and Shelly parked their camper above the lake at the Elks Campground and really seem to enjoy it, so, since Dan was already scheduled to be in Durango, Colorado that weekend to photograph the Iron Horse Classic with his friend Barak, we thought it might be fun to do something out of the ordinary and join our friends at the lake. This was also our first trip without Bandit and, although it was a little hard on me at first, I think going to the lake (rather than to our regular camping spot) made things a little easier for me emotionally. I miss Bandit terribly, but the change in scenery this first time out was kind to my heart.

We visited the ancient Navajo Pueblos ruins at Frances Canyon (as well as the smaller ruins in Largo Canyon) and took a nice long drive with the dogs along the San Juan River Sunday morning and around the lake and dam the next morning. Thank you Vernon and Shelly for inviting us to the lake and, as always, for being such great people and fabulous hosts! Here are a few photos from the weekend.

Before I was a Dog Mom

For this month’s blog post, I thought I’d share with you one of my very most favorite poems. I found it on the internet several years ago and it’s a cute little poem about being a dog parent.

The imagery of this poem will make you both laugh and cry, and, for me (and not to discount Daisy and Darby in any way), the words of this poem will forever remind me of how, in September of 1998, two spotted pups with waggily tails changed my life.

The photo to the right was taken at Mariposa Basin Park on March 7th, just one day before we were to say our goodbyes.

Here's the poem:

Before I Was A Dog Mom by Carol Wat

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I made and ate hot meals unmolested.
I had unstained, unfurred clothes.
I had quiet conversations on the phone, even if the doorbell rang.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I slept as late as I wanted and
never worried about how late I got to bed
or if I could get into my bed.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I cleaned my house every day.
I never tripped over toys, stuffies, chewies
or invited the neighbor's dog over to play.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I didn't worry if my plants, cleansers, plastic bags,
toilet paper, soap or deodorant
were poisonous or dangerous.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never been peed on
pooped on, drooled on, chewed on
or pinched by puppy teeth.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had complete control of
my thoughts, my body and mind.
I slept all night without sharing the covers or pillow.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I never looked into big, soulful eyes and cried.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop a hurt.
I never knew something so furry and four-legged
could affect my heart so deeply.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never held a sleeping puppy just because I couldn't put it down.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes
to make sure all was well.
I didn't know how warm it feels inside to feed a hungry puppy.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never known the warmth,
the joy, the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being
a Dog Mom.

Time to Say Goodbye

It’s taken me almost a week now to put together the thoughts and words for this post and, although I am not 100% satisfied with what I’ve written, I cannot put it off any longer. It’s time for me let each of you know.

We said goodbye to Bandit last Sunday, March 8th. Dr. L came to our house and it was very peaceful. I picked up his cremated remains from French's Mortuary/Best Friends on Wednesday and, although the one thing I want most is for him to still be here to kiss and love on, he's "home" and his body is finally free from that stupid tumor. I feel comfort in knowing these two things and, now that his remains have been returned and are back home safe with me, I feel like my little dog family is whole again and that makes me happy.

Dan and I are not the most perfect or best qualified nurses around, but we gave it our all and did the best we could with our limited knowledge and experience. Despite the lack of sleep and the frustrations of fighting a losing battle against Bandit’s cancer, we were attentive to our furry friend’s needs and kept him comfortable, making sure he was warm, clean, well fed, hydrated, and pottying every 8 hours. Dan and I each took time off from work to be by Bandit’s side 24/7 after his diagnosis and continued to take Bandit to therapy twice a week all the way up until Friday (more for a check-up and a nice bath that last week, but he still went to therapy and the mental stimulation from getting out and about was a reward in itself). In the end, Dan and I took turns sleeping on the floor next to Bandit at night, just so he knew we were there and within arm’s reach. I told Bandit stories about when he and Scout were little and how much I loved him and enjoyed his company. I am thankful for having been able to take the past two weeks off from work to care for my four-legged friend. It was time well spent and, most of all, it was good for my heart.

Despite our best efforts, the time had come for us to make the difficult, heart-wrenching decision to say goodbye. I had spent countless hours snuggled up with Bandit on the floor, praying, giving thanks, and running my fingers through his thick speckled hair and I could see that he was getting weaker and weaker each day. He was still very alert and not in any pain, but his muscles could no longer support the weight of his 45 pound body and he was unable to walk on his own or lift his head up from his pillow. It was then that everything fell into place. Dr. L called me at home on Thursday to check in on Bandit. I told her that I had been putting off calling her and she said that she knew I would have a hard time making that last call to her office; that’s why she called me, instead of waiting for me to call her. She agreed to come to our house on Sunday, after her shift at the clinic. I had not yet made arrangements with Best Friends. Yvonne, the woman I had spoken to at Best Friends five weeks earlier, was out of the office and scheduled to have surgery on her hand the next morning (Friday). Dr. L said not to worry and that she would just plan to take Bandit back to her office on Sunday and that Best Friends could pick up his body on Monday, if need be. Oddly enough, I met Yvonne and learned about Best Friends a year or so ago at a stamp/card making workshop. My friend Roberta had brought Yvonne along as a guest. Out of desperation Friday afternoon, I called Roberta and, believe it or not, she tracked down Yvonne who immediately agreed to meet me, with bandaged hand and straight out of surgery, at her offices to finalize the arrangements. I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that God’s hand guided these events, easing my worries and making it possible for me to focus on my last few days with Bandit.

From the comfort of our queen size bed, our family of six watched the sun rise up and over the Sandia Mountains early Sunday morning. Shortly after breakfast, Dan took Daisy and Darby to my parents’ house and Scout, Bandit, Dan, and I set out for a nice long walk along the Bosque. It was a beautiful day and Bandit was the happiest I’d seen him in a long time. His nose was busy sniffing the air and he was barking and wagging his tail, giving the best tail wags he could possibly give from inside his blue stroller.

On our way home from the Bosque, we decided to do something different. It had been quite a while since Bandit had been able to hang his head out the car window and feel the wind on his face, so Dan carefully placed him in my lap and we drove. We drove into Rio Rancho, across Golf Course Road, and up and down Paseo del Norte , twice, before heading home. As I held him in my arms, stroking the fur around his neck and shoulders and giving him soft little kisses on his floppy black ears, he let out a few big sighs and flipped his tail a time or two, just to let me know he was content. As I watched him in the side mirror, I could see that Bandit had a huge smile on his face and that he was very much enjoying this last car ride with us. We could have driven up and down Paseo all day, but that was not meant to be. Instead, we headed home for a mid-day snack. All week, Bandit had been having extra special meals, some with turkey, rice, and mashed potatoes; some with turkey, rice, and cooked carrots; and some with turkey, rice, and macaroni and cheese. Sunday was no different, except this time it included dessert! Frosty Paws ice cream! With full tummies, the four of us retreated into the bedroom and back to the queen sized bed where I had placed blanket upon blanket to create a nice, soft spot for my baby to lay and rest his head. As we lay there together, I began to massage Bandit’s entire body and talk to him. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I told him that I loved him, that I wished we could have done more for him, and that he would be missed and never forgotten.

When Dr. L arrived to our house, she carefully explained what was about to happen and asked if I was ready. I wasn’t ready, I would never be ready, and could very well have told her "no" forever, but instead I answered, “We’ve had all day together. We watched the sunrise, we took a nice long walk, and went on one last car ride together. Soon he’ll be running and playing again.” With that, she began her work. Dan and I were at Bandit’s side the entire time, looking into his eyes and gently stroking the fur around his face and ears. With repeated I love yous and one more kiss upon his beloved head, I said goodbye to my dear little spotted friend.

"Don't put off 'til tomorrow what can be enjoyed today."

The Josh Billings quote above has quickly become the new motto around our house and the perfect lead-in for this blog post. Bandit recovered wonderfully from his myelogram and CT and needed to use a sling to get around for only those first few days. I brought him home to his brothers and sister on Martin Luther King, Jr. day and he has only been back to the vet for routine follow-up visits. He is doing pretty okay, but he has both his good and his bad days. Sadly, the tumor continues to affect the entire left side of his body and he is slowly losing the ability to walk. The blessing of it all, however, is that he still isn’t in any pain, with or without medication, and remains the same happy little dog. That said (and so long as Bandit is able), we, as a family, have decided to take as many weekend road trips and car rides together as possible. I will post photos and blog about those adventures in the months to come.

In the meantime, our regular vet has given us an herbal mixture to help slow the growth of the tumor and he is currently taking prednisone, an anti-inflammatory steroid, to help reduce the pressure of the tumor on his spinal cord and tramadol for his achy muscles, but the progression of the disease continues and late last week he began showing signs of knuckling on his back right foot. We have stopped acupuncture and switched to physical therapy at the specialists office to help keep his muscles strong. This, of course, is the same scary place Bandit went for his myelogram and CT, but, as always, Bandit was quite the little trooper and sat bravely on his rug in the lobby until Dr. H came out to greet us. His first appointment was January 26th.

During the session, we learned several different exercises, including toe stretches and side bends, and Bandit did 3 minutes and 15 seconds of walking on an underwater treadmill! Yes, an underwater treadmill! I was so proud of that little dog! It only took him a few short seconds to get the hang of it and, to be honest, I’ve never seen him look so happy. Bandit hates, and I mean HATES water, but, since it made him buoyant, he was able to trot along in that tank just like he did on land before the tumor and I think that made him happy. Bandit hasn’t done any running since Thanksgiving and this chance to “run” was such a welcomed gift. By the time his therapy session ended, Bandit had received a kiss on the head from Dr. H and a grapefruit shampoo bath, followed by a mink oil conditioner and a fuzzy towel rub to get him all dried off and ready to go! Needless to say, the session was a fantastically positive experience for Bandit and Dr. H’s turkey treats were a big hit! The photo above and to the right is a photo of Bandit just after his second session yesterday afternoon and the video below is from his second session, as well. That said, let me just end this post by saying that Bandit is simply the happiest underwater treadmill walking dog that I know!

A Horribly Bumpy Roller Coaster Ride

Let me tell you a little something about last week. It sucked. Many of you already know why, but, for those of you that don't, the series of emails below will walk you through my week and explain why it was so rough.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 – It’s Time to See a Neurosurgeon

Bandit had his second round of vitamin B12 acupuncture with our primary vet, Doctor L, this afternoon. We graduated from regular acupuncture to B12 last weekend. Doctor L also wrote us a referral to see a neurosurgeon for an exam and further treatment because the knuckling of Bandit’s front left foot and dragging and knuckling of his back left foot continue. The B12 seems to really improve Bandit’s mobility, but Doctor L says that he’s getting worse each time she sees him and that she doesn’t think he will live long enough to make his January 29th appointment with the specialist, Doctor A. Dan and I have been seriously discussing taking Bandit to Colorado for a MRI, but we are holding out hope for a cancellation at the vet specialist’s office.

Monday, January 12, 2009 4:06 PM - The Vet Specialist Called!

OMG! The vet specialist’s office called with a cancellation and they're going to be able see Bandit tomorrow at 8:30am! You will never believe this, but, as it turns out (and unbeknown to us), my mother’s co-worker friend was scheduled to see Doctor A on Tuesday and, when she had to cancel her puppy’s appointment, Bandit got put on the top of the list for cancellation calls! Unbelievable! Mom’s co-worker friend said that if she had known that we were competing with her to get in to see Doctor A that she would have cancelled her appointment a long time ago! What a small world, huh? Bandit was meant to have this appointment!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 4:56:19 PM – A Quick Update

Bandit met with the vet specialist/neurosurgeon for an exam today. He seems to really like Doctor A, so much so that he hobbled over to her after the exam and begged her for a nice little scratch under the chin and a bit of ear rubbing! Poor Doctor L, her feelings will be so hurt. It took Bandit 10 ½ years to warm up to her! Ha! Anyway, they couldn't run tests on Bandit today (no openings), but they will tomorrow. We will drop him off at 9 a.m. for all day (and overnight) for a myelogram.

The specialist said that she's run at least 10 myelograms a day for the past 10 years and has only ever encountered two complications with the test and that there’s less than 1% chance of any sort of complication (other than temporary seizure and weakness), so we'll see how it goes. She said Bandit looks and sounds like a healthy little dog, strong heart and lungs. She also said that he will be worse before he gets better and that, even after the myelogram, he may have difficulty getting up. She said it could be one day, a week, or even more. I can handle 1 day or even a week, but I can pretty much guaranty that by 2 weeks I'll start beating myself up about why I did this to my dog! Pray for a quick recovery! Also, if she decides that he needs surgery, that will be done on Friday. We'll know more after his tests tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 4:53 PM - An Update on Bandit

Well, Bandit met with the vet specialist/neurosurgeon for an exam yesterday, but they couldn't run the tests because there were no openings for a myelogram. We dropped him off today, but he's been throwing up all morning, so they are again unable to run the tests. They are going to keep him overnight with IV fluids and see how he does. That said, I guess being surrounded by specialists is absolutely the right place for him to be sick! Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers and maybe we'll know more tomorrow after his test!

Thursday, January 15, 2009 10:59 AM - Today's Update on Bandit

Doctor A called this morning and said that Bandit had a good night. He has stopped vomiting and they they will be taking him in for the myelogram sometime this afternoon. Doctor A was unable to give me an exact time, but she will call me as soon as the procedure is complete.

Dan and I went to visit Bandit last night. He was very weak in the hind quarters and had difficulty standing, but he was very, VERY happy to see us! He greeted us with a bunch of happy little squeals and lots and lots of kisses! He got a one-hour full body massage from Mom (to warm him up and get the blood circulating), a half hour of ear rubs from Dan, and a 30 minute cat nap with us in his very own private visiting room! We were only supposed to get 30 minutes with him, but the person at the front desk let us stay and love on him for two entire hours. God bless her! The three of us really needed that time together!

We also bought and brought several fleece blankets (a/k/a binkies) for Bandit to use and then share with the other doggies. The clinic is so swamped and short on blankets that I figured I would just buy some and risk never seeing them again. My thought is that Bandit can use them first and then, as they're soiled and laundered, they can be shared with others. It's pretty much a donation, but I don't much care what they do with them, so long as Bandit always has a couple of soft cushy binkies all to himself! I even tossed the blankets in the dryer with a few of our clothes and let Scout, Daisy, and Darby rub on them to make them smell like home. I think he appreciated our efforts to make him comfortable because he just settled in and nuzzled his nose up and under the covers and had a nice relaxing couple of hours!

Thursday, January 15, 2009 12:30 PM - More re: Bandit

Doctor A just called. Bandit is doing just fine and should be able to come home tomorrow. He is still under anesthesia, but they have completed the myelogram and have some preliminary information. It’s not a ruptured disc. There is a suspicious lesion between C6 and C7 (more on C7 and to the dorsal left). I don’t know what that all means, but she said they were going to run a CT scan of the area and check it out more closely. The results of the CT will have to be sent out and won’t be back for 24 to 48 hours, but she will be able to give us her initial findings shortly after the procedure. She said that since it’s dorsal and to the left that it’s most likely a tumor and, if so, most likely inoperable, but we will know more later. I’m holding out for something disc related (which can be corrected with surgery), but unfortunately I don’t know that I will get my wish…

Thursday, January 15, 2009 1:21 PM - Bandit's Prognosis

Doctor A just called. They have completed the CT and, as suspected, it's a tumor. Inoperable and non-responsive to chemotherapy. We will start giving him Prednisone, an anti-inflammatory medicine, but can do nothing more. Prednisone is a steroid and will help reduce the pressure on his spinal cord and perhaps improve his mobility. We will be able to bring him home tomorrow and Doctor A should receive confirmation on the diagnosis in a couple of days. Damn it! I have always I've always prayed and prayed that the dogs be cancer and disease free and that they live long happy lives. I've done my best to take care of the happy part, but ten years is just not long enough! Damn it!

Thursday, January 15, 2009 5:01 PM – A More Positive Note

I'm going to take all of next week off to get Bandit back up and going from the myelogram. We knew the test would knock him on his butt (literally) and that we would have to work hard to get him back to "normal," but now, with the diagnosis, I feel like I should really put in some serious effort and be around to comfort and encourage him, especially if he starts on a downward spiral. And you just never know, the Prednisone may be more effective than expected and he might just surprise us and hang in there for a good long while! I'm also going to look into warm water therapy for him to help prevent atrophy and help him keep off some of that steroid weight. I will continue to keep you all posted. Bandit and I will be at my parents' house until at least Monday the 19th. Scout and the puppies will be with Dan.

Friday, January 16, 2009 11:32 AM - Bringing Bandit Home

I went over to my parents’ house this morning to drop off a few things and ended up moving around some of their furniture in the living room. I needed a clear path to the patio and a nice warm and quiet spot for Bandit, so I moved the love seat to the middle of the wall and put Bandit's bed in the corner, nearest the kitchen. I figure that's a good, out-of-the way place for him, near an outlet to plug in his heated dog bed, and still allow him to see where we are whether it be in the kitchen, down the hall, or in the living room. Dad can still recline and watch TV on his half of the love seat and I can sit on the other side with Bandit. It's only temporary, but I think it will work out really well. We'll be picking Bandit up at 3-ish today and then head right over to my parents’ house for some rest and relaxation.